Clik here to view.
Breaking News: Donald Trump and His Trophy Wife Sleep in Separate Bedrooms
We’re paying millions of dollars in taxes so they can live in separate states. In every photo op, Trump and Melania have less chemistry than Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson in 50 Shades of Gray. No...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Melania Trump Liked a Tweet Talking About How Her Marriage Is Shit
The Trump family’s social media presence is fascinating. I can’t tell if it’s a strategic distraction, or if they are a bunch of wrecks who don’t give a fuck. Looking at their patriarch, I think we all...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Melania Slaps Away Donald’s Pussy Fingers, Somebody Save Her
Melania Trump is all of us. Donald Trump’s on his “look presidential” foreign tour right now. The two touched down in Israel and exited Air Force One. When they walked down the tarmac, the Donald held...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Melania Trump Broke Down and Finally Held Donald Trump’s Hand
The force is strong with this one. Melania Trump did so well in avoiding holding Donald Trump’s shrimp fingers, but one can only do so much. It started with the swat. The Trumps disembarked onto the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Dr. Seuss Got Melania Trump Into Trouble
Even when Melania Trump tries to do something good, she does it wrong. The First Lady sent ten Dr. Suess books to Cambridgeport Elementary School for National Read a Book Day. That sounds like a nice...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Melania Trump Used to Be a Duck
Here’s something you probably didn’t think you would see today. That’s Melania Trump as the Aflac duck. Never in a million years did I imagine seeing the First Lady talking like Gilbert Gottfried. But...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Melania Trump Allegedly Had an Exorcism in the White House, But It Failed to...
You know, it’s kind of a tradition for the First Lady of the United States to have some crazy beliefs that the rest of might think are nonsense. Nancy Reagan used to host seances in the White House,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Melania Trump’s 6 Hour Layover in Egypt Cost Taxpayers Over $95K
According to government spending records, Melania Trump’s recent trip to Egypt resulted in hotel expenditures totaling $95,050. The cost was paid out to Semiramis Intercontinental Cairo, a luxury...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Melania Trump Has Been Assimilated
Well, it’s happened. All of Trump’s women are now officially blonde (fake blonde, but we all knew that). Melania Trump just debuted her new, blonde hairstyle. And it definitely looks like Melania’s...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Is Donald And Melania Trump’s Sham Marriage On the Rocks?
Being the President of the United States is hard, stressful work. You can see the way the job visibly ages the occupant of the oval office. You’ve got to check Twitter, watch Fox News, send tweets from...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Yay! More Melania Trump Nudes!
I wish I was enough to have my life taken care of for me in the same vein as Melania Trump. Karl Lagerfeld’s approval is of utmost importance to my life. But since Melania has gone through her life as...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Melania Trump Wants to Fight Cyber Bullying, Doesn’t Understand Irony
Melania Trump is a lot of things. She’s the wife of Donald Trump. And, I’m sure she’s some other things, but I don’t actually know what she does. One thing she isn’t, is self-aware. Speaking to...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Trump Spies on Wife While Voting, Most Polite Thing He’s Ever Done to a Woman
Trump can’t take a single picture where he doesn’t look like a fucking jackass. While casting his vote, Donald looked over his shoulder to see who his wife, Melania was voting for. Or he was peaking...
View ArticleClik here to view.
GQ Reposts Topless Photos of Melania Trump From 16 Years Ago
In 2000, GQ profiled and pictured Melania Trump sans clothes. This is news in 2016 because Donald Trump is our next President and GQ decided to repost the story and pictures. If you can make it past...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Gigi Hadid Apologizes For Not Being Funny
Gigi Hadid did a bad impression of Melania Trump at the AMAs, and I guess enough people were watching because plenty of offense was taken. Gigi took to Twitter to issue an apology. The full apology and...
View ArticleClik here to view.
New Photo Shows Barron Trump Being a Creep in Training
A new photo has come out featuring the happy Trump family. The good news is that it’s not just Ivanka and Donald that have a weird relationship, Baron and Melania are a little bizarre as well. In a...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Melania Trump Shows Moment of Deep Sadness at Inauguration, Her Life is...
Hoo boy! There is a sad, sad clip of Melania and Donald Trump on only day 1 of his presidency. We’re in for a wild ride. A clip of the inauguration has been going around the internet as potential proof...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Melania Trump Sounds Super Jealous of ‘Porn Hooker’ Stormy Daniels
A lot of people try to shame Melania Trump for having been a nude model, but I always find that a little self-defeating. “Yeah, we’re going to put the entire women’s movement back 50 years to own the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Donald Trump’s Wife is Going to Leave Him the Second Joe Biden Takes the Oath...
If you were married to Donald Trump, you’d probably want to divorce him as soon as you could get your full divorce payment from your pre-nup. It’s sort of like the reverse of a mortgage with a balloon...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Donald Trump Is Reportedly Pissed His Wife Made Their Mar-a-Lago Home Look Nice
Other than in men, I think Melania Trump usually has pretty good taste. I remember people got very mad that she changed Jackie Kennedy’s Rose Garden landscaping, but I think the new, more low-key look...
View Article